I want this image...

...tattooed on either my body, or that of a loved one so that its weirdness can be enjoyed for a lifetime.

At least the strangeness of the picture makes the heavy airbrushing seem not so jarring.

For you, Nina

Whenever I have a friend or family member suggest to me an idea for a blog entry, they usually have some anecdote attached to it. Like the time Randy was terrorized by Faye Dunawaye, or when Mike sent me the pictures from the Destiny's Child concert. But last night, I got my favorite request, by far from my sister, Nina, when she called me on my cell phone.

"Hey Lisa, so I have an idea for something you can put on your blog."

"Oh cool."

"It's Nick Lachey."

"OK."

"Yeah. You should mention how cute he is. I'm watching him on the MTV special and he's just really cute. He looks like he's about to cry."

Basically, the gist of this entry is that Nina thinks Nick Lachey is cute.

The bar has been set.

It appears that Angelina Jolie tops People Magazine's "100 Most Beautiful People Issue" and they attribute her humanitarian efforts to giving her that angelic glow that radiates through her flawless skin and adds extra plump to those sexy lips.

She, Brad and the young'un's also garnered the "Most Beautiful Family" title, much to the chagrin (I'm just speculating until her next Vanity Fair tell-all) of the famously tight-lipped (both literally and metaphorically) Jennifer Anniston.

After scanning the article, I noticed I was inconspicuously missing from this so-called "comprehensive list measuring both inner and outer beauty."

Clearly, there is an intern at People whose job (albeit unpaid) is in grave danger of ceasing to exist.

But seriously, I think my best chance would be to go for the "Most Beautiful Family" title cause whether or not I make the most beautiful list on my own, if I can figure out a way to create a family so stunning in its entirety, it might be enough to make People (and people, in general) sit up and take notice.

Score one for you, Angelina.

For now.

Richborards

I know I'm a little behind the times, but just in case you missed them, here are some pix from US Weekly with Richie Sambora and Denise Richards.

Yes, because if the reason you left your first husband had a lot to do with hookers, your next logical step would be to start a relationship with a rock star.

If Heather Locklear still had muscle control over her overly-Botoxed lower half of her face, I'm sure she still wouldn't be smiling.

Shout out to The Superficial

The Superficial posted a video of Britney Spears dancing to "To My Sister (Little Me)," a new demo from her album.

To be honest, it's not really the video that's so funny so much as the description of it as:

"something the fat emo girl who sat in the back of highschool literature would make."

Oh Ryan...

A little nugget from Mike Wilson's blog.

And might I just add, honey, you shouldn't be looking so damn smug when your breasts are behaving like opposing magnets.

The many faces of La Lohan

Here's a gallery from MSN.com of the many looks young Lindsay Lohan has already tried out.

Bless her freckled heart, she's already gone through as many transformations as Madonna.

I hope she pulls a Drew Barrymore and cleans up her act cause I LOVED her in Parent Trap, Freaky Friday and Mean Girls. Come on girl, it's some for some rehab and a comeback.

"...sandwiches, whatever."

In the latest issue of Glamour magazine, Nicole Richie lays to rest rumors of unhealthy eating habits.

When asked what she likes to eat, Nicole answered with:

" ... Whatever I feel like, sandwiches, whatever."

Somehow, I'm not convinced.

Her response reminds me too much of how I would answer a question I didn't really understand because it involves an activity with which I'm not particularly familiar.

"Lisa, how does a car engine work?"

"...Like you put gas in it and it runs. Whatever."

However, even in the course of writing this blog, I was able to think of at least 6 things (in specific detail) that I enjoy eating.

Hey, that's my Bush!

President Bush, right, holds up a pair of swimming trunks presented to him by the Auburn University Women's Swimming and Diving Team as Crystal Langhorne, the captain of the University of Maryland women's basketball team, looks on during an event honoring 2005 and 2006 NCAA athletic champions on the South Lawn of the White House Thursday, April 6, 2006. (AP Photo/Charles Dharapak)

I'm trying to decide what the most disconcerting aspect of this photo is.

Is it the shiny, miniscule black swimming trunks ol' Dubya's holding up for all to see?

Is it George W.'s proximity to a black person other than Condaleeza Rice?

I think the girl's expression says all we need to know.

Mark Consuelos & Kelly Ripa on The View

Just to be nice, I put Mark's name first.

They seem nice enough, (I happen to enjoy Kelly Ripa just a teensy bit, shhh, don't tell) just shockingly more tan and pixie-like than I realized until I saw the two of them on the show this morning.

Their children must be absolutely adorable/made out of leather.

Like tiny change-purses of cute.

Mother Paris

Some clearly insane Indian movie director is hoping to get Paris Hilton to play Mother Teresa in his film, claiming that Paris' and Teresa's facial features are a close match.

Frankly, this is way more offensive than any Danish Muslim cartoon, I'll tell you what. And I'm not even Catholic--I'm just not a whore. And as a non-whore, I'm totally offended by the fact that this director would seek out the sluttiest of the slutties to play the biggest non-whore in history.

Now, I totally know how all those Mexicans felt about JLO playing Selena.

Here's my favorite part of the article, where they sum up Paris' filmic "experience":

The 54-year-old director is well-known in India for his Malayalam-language films, including "Janani" (Mother) -- the story of seven nuns who care for an abandoned baby, which won a national award.

Hilton's prior movie experience includes appearing in a home-made sex video made by a former boyfriend that appeared on the Internet, and parts in several Hollywood B-films.

The blond socialite, who is often the focus of US celebrity gossip columns, also starred in the US reality television show "The Simple Life".

What if I have a good excuse?

This image released by the Shelby County, Tenn., Sheriff's Office shows Randall Hank Williams Jr., Tuesday, April 4, 2006, in Memphis, Tenn. Williams surrendered to police Tuesday on a warrant issued in an alleged assault on a hotel waitress in March, a charge his publicist claimed is driven by 'greed.' (AP Photo/Shelby County Sheriff's Office)

'Greed'? That's not so much an excuse as an explanataion. It's making me wonder if his publicist is completely retarded, or just lazy.

I think I would have accepted 'hunger' or 'boredom' as better answers because I don't think those are deadly sins, last time I checked.

Also, I can see attacking someone out of boredom. I think I may have actually done it before, when I was both hungry and bored.